| these past weeks were pretty hard.. i'd realised that i was going away from god, i never took time to pray and at the youth group during the worship i was just bloked... and i decided to take 10 days when i would only pray for others, pray for you lot on xanga, for all my friends, for my family, my teachers(that was hard!!), the church.... and during these times i really was in peace but each time i stopped reality came back and i became the old noémie again.;its hard to explain but each morning i had beautiful times with god just asking him to protect everyone around me without asking anything for myself and then i went to school and i just couldn't be nice with my friends, i wanted to be alone...during this time i jsut felt alone and everyone deceived me( 2friends, my family and people at church) . In a way i like these times when i see that everyone around me makes mistakes and that only jesus is with me all the time , listening to me, talking to me, taking care of me!!!! i still managed to have good times as the guides weekend where i was to be myself and to beat my record of stupid jokes!!!but when i was alone i felt just so stupid!!:) i really am in a transition period, trying to find out on who exceptjesus i can count on, on what to dowith my church and guides ( should i change of church where is god calling me to be??), on what to do next year with all the bad grades i have (even in english!!!!!:( )what needs a change in me, how can i be nice to my dadwhen each time he comes back from travel i get upset with him.... i know im always saying the same things and i also know that what i'm saying doesn't mean anything, but thats jsut the way i feel... |
